Friday, April 9, 2010

...Set: Supernatural 5x17 "99 Problems"

Based solely on the preview for this episode, I really had no clue what it was going to be about, and wasn’t really all that excited for it. But hey! Way to go, show! I was happily surprised. While we’re on the subject, did they get rid of the people who used to make the previews? Because they used to be pretty cool. Or maybe that’s just the general promos… hmm. I have to also say that the “THEN” segment just made me wonder when Lisa was going to show up again, which was sort of distracting.

In any event, this episode started with a bang. Dean and Sam were on the run (in the Impala) from, apparently, a bunch of demons. When they meet a roadblock and the demons catch up, things are looking grim. But then the Sacrament Lutheran Militia show up and hose them down with some holy water before shouting some very short exorcism saying. Poof go the demons. Apparently this town knows all about what’s going on, and has armed itself up, with the church as headquarters.

And the church is headquarters because they have themselves their very own prophet in Leah Gideon, daughter of the Pastor, David. I feel like that name has some sort of reference, but as I’m not religious, it means about bupkiss to me. Oh wait, I got it. “They stamped it, didn’t they? Those damn Gideons.” Quick! Name that movie quote!*

Leah has been receiving instructions from the angels about when and where the demons will be. Sam calls up Castiel for some help, but has to leave a message. Meanwhile, Leah gets another message and the boys help out the townfolk in taking down a house of demons, after which Leah tells the town that they have been chosen by the angels to have sunshine and rainbows after this nasty apocalypse business is over with, but they have to follow some rules. Sam is dubious about the rules, but Dean is pretty shut off about the whole thing in general. Enter – Angst! Our brothers’ bestest of friends! Sam tries to get through to Dean about how he’s really the only one keeping Sam sane throughout this whole thing, but Dean decides to blow him off and take a walk.

Sam doesn’t have long to be exasperated, because Cas shows up. Oh wait, I guess he still can be exasperated, because Castiel is completely toasted. He saw a liquor store, he drank it. And he also reveals that this Leah figure is not a prophet, after all! DUN DUN DUN. Dean, meanwhile, finds the townsfolk are trying to run one of their own out of town because he’s not following their new supposed angel-rules. And they end up killing the guy! Things? They be getting’ out of hand.

Recap/review of Supernatural 5x17 "99 Problems" by freshfromthe.comBecause, as Castiel so politely informs us, Leah is actually the Whore of Babylon, who apparently rises with Lucifer and gives false prophecy to drive a bunch of people to Hell. All of the exorcisms have been fake! No wonder they seemed way too easy. I mean, remember the days when it took them a whole episode to get rid of just one demon? In any case, the only way to kill her is with a special Cyprus branch from Babylon, wielded by a true servant of Heaven. Since none of our intrepid heroes currently fit the bill, they seek out Padre Gideon.

They go into the lion’s den, where that evil whore (ha, it’s fun to call someone that and have it literally be true) is getting one particularly gung-ho townsperson named Jane to lock a bunch of people up so they can burn them alive. The Padre tries to kill the evil whore, but since she’s in the guise of his daughter, he can’t do it. Tussle, tussle, fight fight. Dean has a chance to drive the stake through her heart – and he does it. AND IT WORKS. Is he a true servant of Heaven after all? I had a million ideas running through my head about what was going on, but I’ll spare you.

Sam tries to have another conversation with Dean, asking him if the reason he was able to kill that evil whore (this will never get old) is because he’s going to do something stupid. Like, Michael stupid. Dean does the ole shrugaroo, then claims to go outside to get something from the car. Sam’s spidey sense is tingling, as it should, because Dean has just LIED to him. He takes off in the Metallicar to parts unknown. But not really, because we were told from that “THEN” segment that one Lisa-loo would be making an appearance.

So, as you may have guessed, Dean shows up on Lisa’s doorstep. And therein follows perhaps one of the most heartbreaking exchanges in the show’s history. He tells her that he knows where his life is headed, but whenever he imagines himself happy, he sees himself with her and Ben. She tries to get him to stay, but he refuses, though he does tell her he’s going to make sure that she and Ben are taken care of. DEAN!

I mean, it’s sort of become obvious that it’s only a matter of time before he’s going to say yes, but I guess I didn’t expect it to be so heartbreaking. Stupid of me, I know, because it’s all about the angsty heartbreak on this show. I have my dumb moments too, you know, like today when I took the wrong freeway exchange and proceeded to panic my way around desolate parts of the outskirts of downtown Los Angeles until I finally found a road I knew and made my way back to the correct freeway. There may have been a lot of cursing. But I digress.

The preview for next week was all disjointy again, but it looks like the ish is really about to hit the fan. And, you know, it should. Because this has been a kind of quiet apocalypse, and hey next week is already episode 18 and, OH WAIT, it’s also the 100TH episode! Way to go, little show that could!

*That would be from Mission: Impossible, the movie.


“Hate to tell ya this, but those were demons and this is the Apocalypse.” – Militia dude (apparently his name was Rob)

“Whole town of hunters? I don’t know whether to run screaming or buy a condo.” – Dean

“You’ve reached the voicemail of…” – voicemail lady’s voice
“I don’t understand… why, why do you want me to say my name?” – Castiel

“You know me, downright pious.” – Dean

“I guess that’s what it’s like, huh?” – Sam
“What?” – Dean
“Having backup.” – Sam

“No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality.” – Sam

“I got your message. It was a long message. I find the sound of your voice grating.” – Castiel

“Are you okay?” - Sam
“Don’t ask stupid questions.” - Castiel

“It actually means you, uh, breed with the mouth of a goat. … It’s funnier in Enochian.” – Castiel

“So how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this bitch?” – Dean

“Sam, of course, is an abomination.” – Castiel

“On a good day you get to kill a whore.” – Dean

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