...Set: Supernatural 5x22 "Swan Song"

Oh my GAHHG, what a roller coaster of an episode. (GAHHG, in case you've forgotten, stands for: Great Almighty He Him God.) People are dead, people are back to life. I'm thinking the Impala is going to be destroyed because of all the focus it was getting. It was a somber episode that took its time, and really felt as though it could have been a series finale, up until that final shot, of course. And I have my theories as to how it would've ended had there not been a season six, but I'll discuss that when I get there.

Because here we motor into recaptown (and the return of our favorite "THEN" with Kansas' Carry On, Wayward Son. It does not disappoint). Kripke and company are giving us a little info on the backstory of the Impala before it came to be in John Winchester's hands. This history is all being narrated by our returning prophet Chuck, who gets to do all of the subsequent little bits throughout the rest of the episode, detailing one very important, uh, detail, that becomes very, well, important, in a much later scene. Rather than keep returning to these Impala scenes each time they occur, here's the general breakdown: some bible thumper first owned it, then Dean convinced John to buy it, then little Sam got an army man stuck in one of the ashtrays, then little Dean put some legos down the vents, and all of these little quirks are still here today, even after Dean had to rebuild her from the bottom up. Dean, such a sentimentalist. And when the boys had some time off, and it was a clear night, they'd just hang out and look up at the stars. Excuse me while I wipe a tear.

Ahem, okay. In main storyland, Dean tells Sam that he's on board for the whole plan - Sam says yes, then they open Lucifer's cage and Sam gains enough control to jump in, locking Lucifer back up. They have some meaningful talks, wherein Sam tells Dean that he doesn't want him to try to bring him back once he's gone. He wants him to go find Lisa and live the normal, apple pie life they never got to have. Sniff.

Meanwhile, they've bled a couple of demons, and now it's time for Sam to hulk up. He says goodbyes to Bobby and Castiel, asks Dean to please not watch him be so gross and drink gallons upon gallons of bloody blood blood, and then it's time for them to go meet Lucifer in that preordained yes location - Detroit. Sam and Dean head up to face off with him (and Sam kills some other demons with barely a flick of his too long-haired head - WHOA AWESOME), but then start to get panicked when Lucifer reveals he knows their whole plan to get him back in the cage, but he's willing to give it a go against Sam. Dean tries to get Sam to change his mind, but he says the big YES. And big white flash WHOOSH!

Sam's on the ground. Dean does the ring thingamabob stuff into the wall and the cage opens up. Sam steps over to the cage, and we think he's going to jump in but SURPRISE! Lucifer was just toying with poor Dean's head and pretending to be Sam. He quickly shuts the cage doors and blips out of there, leaving poor Dean all alone.

Lucifer has a little mirror chat with Sam, telling him it was always meant to be this way. They are two halves of the same whole, and Sam never felt right in his own family, etc. etc., so on and so forth. He has also brought what he considers a treat for Sam - all of the various people throughout his life that Azazel apparently had watching over him. And he gets to kill them all. I have to give big props to Jared Padalecki for the way he played Lucifer once again. So awesome.

Dean, Cas and Bobby are watching some store TVs as the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket. Dean wants to know what they can do, but the other two basically tell him there's nothing left to do. Hope, she is lost and forgotten. Lucifer and Michael are meant to meet at some specific battlefield spot at some specific time, and they don't know where that is. Dean is having none of this tomfoolery and calls up Chuck, who, being a prophet and all, knows that it's going down at Stull Cemetery near Lawrence, Kansas. Well, this thing has just come full circle, my friends!

Lucifer and Michael, in Adam's meatsuit, meet up on the field, and Lucifer goes about his usual hissyfit shenanigans, complaining about their totally mean dad GAHHG and how he so totally doesn't get it, and come on, bro, let us run away together! Michael calls him out on his childish tendencies and says he will follow through on Dad-GAHHG's wishes. But lo! What is this we hear? It can't be! But it is! It is the guttural ka-chunk-chunks of the Impala, with Dean at the wheel! Mikey and Luci are none too happy to see this human fellow crash their party, and prepare to probably smite him or some such, but then Castiel shows up and is all, "Hey, assbutt!" (no, really, that's what he says) and throws some holy oil fire on Michael to give Dean a chance to get through to Sam.

Lucifer, ever that arse of a hole, gets very upset with Castiel for messing with his brother, because that's his job, duh, so in retaliation he EXPLODES CASTIEL INTO BITS AND BITS! AAAAH! And then he turns to poor old Bobby, who came with Cas, because probably Cas can't drive, and what does Lucifer do? HE BREAKS BOBBY'S NECK! We barely have time to even register these huge deaths before Lucifer turns his attention back to Dean and starts to beat the living hell out of him. I mean, really, really, really, beat it. His face becomes barely recognizable! Lovely Jensen Ackles' face! How dare he!

While he's doing it, though, his eyes chance upon a glimpse of that army man stuck in the ashtray inside the Impala that we saw earlier and then! Then, just like that, Sam's memories start flowing, from when they were kids to all of their time together the last five years. And I wonder how many episodes all of the clips were from throughout this whole episode, because it would be kind of cool if they had one from each, but I don't know if they had enough time. Maybe some erstwhile fan will figure this out.

ANYWAY, I digress. Because right, Sam's memories come back and he takes control! Yay, Sam! Go, Sam! We always knew you could do it, Sammy! He pulls the rings out of his pocket (well, Sam clearly must have had some control earlier, because why wouldn't Lucifer just destroy those rings rather than keep them with him?) and proceeds to re-open the cage. That's when Michael shows back up, telling Sam that he can't do this because Lucifer and Michael are meant to battle. But Sam's having none of that. He falls back into the cage, taking Michael with him. SAAAAAMMM! And as I promised, here's my theory. And I'm sure it's nearly everyone's theory, but you get to hear it anyway. I bet that if this really had been the end of the series, both Sam and Dean would've gone down into that hole, sacrificing themselves for everyone else. You know it. They live to be martyrs, those two.

But, this isn't the end. Dean must go on living. Luckily, however, guess who comes back! Castiel! What! He's back, and back as an angel, no less, thanks to, he thinks, GAHHG. And he promptly brings Bobby back as well. Rather than stick around, however, he thinks he should probably go back up to Heaven to sort out the mess that has surely erupted now that Michael is gone. Dean and Bobby share a goodbye, and in voiceover from Chuck, we learn that they won't see each other for quite some time, but that Bobby goes back to hunting (a Rugaru, for those who are curious).

Dean, however, follows through on Sam's wishes, and goes and finds Lisa. He says he'd like to come in and have a beer, if it's not too late. Lisa tells him it's never too late. So he goes in, and it's not clear if a lot of time has passed or if it's that same night, but one night while he's having dinner with Lisa and Ben (who we don't actually get to see the face of because clearly the kid who played Ben could not be there yet again), outside the house, a streetlight flickers out. And then, who should be standing under that streetlight but... Sam! But is it really Sam? He stood there watching Dean eating with Lisa and Ben but didn't look that happy about it.

Well, people, we're going to have to wait until next season to find out what happened and where things go from here. And I have to say that, while many people have voiced reservations over the show continuing and possibly outstaying its welcome, I am rather looking forward to what next the Winchesters must face.

What did everyone else think? Were you satisfied? Did you cry some tears like me? Did you think the Impala was going to bite the big one too? Are you going to watch next season? Are you sick of me asking questions yet?

During the hiatus time, I'll be filling the void of Supernatural by watching old episodes and doing recaps of those, and probably also doing some best of (and worst of?!) lists. I have a whole host of lists I could do. Be afraid, be very afraid. Or excited. Whichever.

Quotes:

"Ah, ain't he a little angel." - Dean, about a sleeping Castiel
"Angels don't sleep." - Sam

"Take care of these guys, okay." - Sam
"That's not possible." - Castiel
"Then humor me." - Sam
"Oh, I'm supposed to lie. Uh, sure. We'll be fine." - Castiel

"Hey guys, is your father home?" - Dean

"Chock full of Ovaltine, are we?" - Lucifer

"Such anger, young Skywalker." - Lucifer

"It's starting." - Castiel
"You think, genius?" - Dean
"You don't have to be mean." - Castiel

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" - Dean

"Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid." - Lucifer

"Hey! Assbutt!" - Castiel

"Sam, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you." - Dean

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