The bong lamp that won't die played another major role in this week's episode, even featuring in the title of the episode itself! Yep, that, now legendary, bong was found in Brin's (or is it Bren? I can't keep these crazy names straight) locker. Because obviously that's the best place to keep it if you can't keep it at home in case your parents might find it. Nevermind if the school finds it and your parents find out anyway! Which is exactly what happens. And any short-lived friendship between Lux and Brin becomes even more short-lived when Brin rats Lux out as the seller of said bong. Result: Suspension.
Meanwhile, both Cate and Baze have received Lux's file from her social worker (whose name is Vern, if you ever wanted to know), in which they find a letter Lux wrote to Santa when she was eight, explaining how she wanted a family. Upon hearing of Lux's suspension, Cate decides to use that file to make the Principal see that Lux deserves a second chance. And here we get a plot contrivance, wherein Cate says something like, "Here! Take it! Make a photocopy and look it over!" The principal takes it, hands it to an assistant and says, "Here! Make a photocopy and give the original back to the mother." The assistant takes it and we pan on over to our resident She-Bitch of Westmonte High School, who has it out for Lux, don't you know, smiling slyly at her joyous occasion of luck and amazing coinkidink! I did not see that coming ten miles away at all! And her name is Kasey, or Kaycie or Casey, however these crazy folks end up spelling it. And I'm not sure how much we need to care at this point.
So she, predictably, makes another copy and plasters it all over Lux's locker. Brin is upset because Lux lied to her about Jerry Garcia using that bong lamp and something about a summer in San Francisco. The other kids play their mean high school personas saying little things like, "Merry Christmas, Lux" cackle cackle cackle. Lux, as she is wont to do, takes it all out on Cate. After basically telling her she doesn't get it and she never will, Lux decides the only way to make her see is to get up on stage at the Drink & Date event Cate and Ryan are hosting and out them as an engaged couple. Because, remember, everyone thinks they are single and cynical co-hosts. The entirety of Portland goes BA-nanas over the whole thing. And again I question credibility, because who really cares that much about radio personalities anymore?
But it did lead to the best part of the episode, which was Cate giving Lux the what for, for once. She pointed out exactly what's been annoying me about Lux so far: all she does is run away. And all Cate is doing is trying her best. And Lux has been a bit of a whiny little baby pants about it. She gets another talk from Math about being the unwanted one and how the answer to her issues is in that Santa letter and yes, you guessed it, that's our SHLOCK ALERT for the evening. Copious amounts of voiceover follow, with Lux reading out the rest of her Santa letter about how she doesn't need perfect parents, but rather just parents in general who are nice and yada yada yada.
I've barely mentioned Baze at all. He was acting rather childish the whole episode too, getting all shirty over that Santa letter because he wasn't the rich and famous father little Lux had said she wanted. Apparently he did not read to the end of the letter either, because get a clue. And Ryan also gave him the what for when he was being a whiny little baby pants about it at the aforementioned Drink & Date event. Ryan basically reminds him of who Lux always goes to when she's running away from Cate: Baze. She spent all her savings on him, etc. etc. Clearly she's sees something, so get off it and start acting like a father if you want to be one. Well said, Ryan, well said. He seems to be the most sensible person on this show, really.
Baze also gets Lux her bong lamp back, as well as the money he owed her for the rent she paid last week, thanks to the Drink & Date event that he finagled into being at his bar rather than the rival one across the street.
In the end, Lux goes back to Cate's, which is a relief to her. And can we now hope that she stops running away every episode and gets something else to do? Pretty please?
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