After a super-sized hiatus, Glee has finally returned! If I’m being honest, I kind of forgot about it, and then once I remembered how much I loved it, was slightly let down by this episode. Did it feel a little disjointed to anyone else? I’m not saying it was bad, just something felt a little off, like maybe things were going really fast or something? Though I did really love that Brittany and Santana got their own decent side story, and that we got to see the other Asian dance. Always a good thing.
But, on to the main stories of the evening. In our adults division, we’ve got Will and Emma. In the (fake) teens division, we’ve got Rachel and Finn, and with those two stories combined you’ve got… Captain Planet! Oh wait, wrong show. Here on Glee, those two combined equal Sue Sylvester’s machinations with Brittany and Santana.
You see, Rachel thinks she and Finn are now an item, but Finn is still confused about everything with Quinn and not so sure he wants to be dating Rachel. Sue, now reinstated to her Cheerios coach position after she rufied the Principal, tasks Brittany and Santana with turning their charms onto Finn so that Rachel goes nuts and quits Glee. I feel like all of her plans revolve around getting Rachel out of the club, do they not? But it doesn’t even really take the pinky pair to get Finn to break things off with Rachel. Point of fact, them making fun of her makes him want to get back together.
But! It’s too late, because Rachel has rather serendipitously met a new guy almost immediately – one Jesse St. James, of the rival group Vocal Adrenaline. They supposedly fall madly in love instantaneously, even though we have never see this kid before, ever. The Glee Club doesn’t take kindly to Rachel fraternizing with the enemy, and all believe he’s playing her. They tell her to break things off or get tossed out of Glee, and it looks like she might do it, but then Sue scares her with a glimpse into a possible old maid future, so she decides to carry on with Jesse in secret, despite Finn deciding he wants to get back together with her. But I think we can all agree, Jesse definitely has ulterior motives.
In adult land, Will and Emma are trying out the dating thing, but it quickly gets complicated when Emma drops a bombshell on Will. Not only does she have her OCD quirks, she’s also never “been intimate” with a man. People, well, guys, always find this sort of revelation shocking, but honestly I am not shocked. This happens to occur right when everyone first finds out about Rachel and Jesse, so Will goes over to talk to the Vocal Adrenaline coach. And then proceeds to take her home and make out with her!!
But he stops things before they go too far. Vocal Adrenaline coach woman tells him he’s got to spend some time figuring out who he is outside of a relationship, which is the same conclusion that Emma comes to later on after an encounter with Terri makes her rethink the way things are going with Will. Will has some soul searching to do.
Guys, I haven’t even talked about the musical numbers. Maybe because they were all sort of a snooze? They really were. The theme of the week was “hello”, which took on various iterations, from The Doors to Lionel Richie, to that diddy from the Target commercials that I now have stuck in my head. But next week! Next week is the Madonna episode, and if that preview video of Sue’s “Vogue” is any indication, it should be a return to awesome.
Top Sue Quotes:
“Hey buddy, get a haircut? Looks awful.” – Sue
“I would’ve gotten you one, Will, but I don’t like you.” – Sue
“There, you no longer confuse me with your she-male looks. Here, you can donate this to the victims of Katrina. Maybe they can use it to plug the holes in their trailers.” – Sue
“You know what else I’m gonna bring? I’m gonna bring enough Asian cookware to rub your head with, because right now you have enough product in your hair to season a wok.” – Sue
“Ladies, I misjudged you. You may be two of the stupidest teens I’ve ever encountered. And that’s saying something, I once taught a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin.” – Sue
“I am engorged with venom and triumph.” - Sue
Top Brittany Quotes:
“We were seduced by the glitz and glamour of showbiz.” – Brittany
“There was a mouse in mine.” – Brittany
“Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” – Brittany
“Sometimes I forget my middle name.” – Brittany
Oh, there are other people? Quotes:
“I’m not breaking up with you, I’m just saying, please stop super sizing, because I don’t dig on fat chicks.” – Puck
“She looked like Pippi Longstocking but, like, Israeli.” – Santana
“Cut the butter, Benedict Arnold.” – Kurt
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