Since I'm apparently such a stickler for the stories here, let's break it down, shall we?
Kurt's still gay, so the bullies say hey

Puck's back in town, but will he stick around?
Puck is out of juvie early because he said he would do community service, which to him means helping out Artie, by showing him how to make random money from classmates and how to ask out Brittany. Because apparently Artie sort of likes her, even though we've had no indication that he had any residual feelings for her since their tryst. Okay then. So Puck and Artie go on a double date with Santana and Brittany, and all the while Puck is basically bragging about his time spent in the underage clink, telling stories of waffle domination and the like. But when he finds out that helping out Artie doesn't count as his community service, and that if he doesn't choose something else instead (apparently only picking up garbage on the side of the road counts here), he'll have to go back to juvie, the truth comes out. Juvie was not so great. People kept stealing his waffles. Artie proposes that he'll help out Puck with his geometry while Puck does the community service, and Puck agrees. I kind of love these two as friends, don't you?
Beistes get the blues, and enjoy kissing too
In order to "cool off" before heading into sexy times, the guys of glee (plus Tina) have started picturing Coach Beiste in varying states of undress. Some misunderstandings come about, leading to a couple of the Glee-sters to tell Beiste to stay away from their man (or woman). Coach Beiste confronts Will about what is going on, and Will is forced to tell her the truth. Though the fact that he talks sex with these kids somewhat often is kind of disturbing to me. Anyway, Beiste is rather hurt by their imaginings, and decides to quit, which was no one's intention. Will goes to try to talk her out of it, and they actually have a nice and meaningful conversation, wherein she confesses that she's never even been kissed. Will kisses her (not as cheesy as it could have been, but let's face it, still kind of cheesy and expected) and asks her to come see what the glee guys have put together for their mash up. She is touched by their outreach, and decides to stay.
Oh, right. There was an actual assignment for the club, which was just a rehash of the boys versus girls with song mash ups from the previous year. I have to say, though, I enjoyed all of the songs this week, which has been something of a rarity this season. Clap your hands say yeah!
Songs:
One Love/People Get Ready - Puck & Artie
Teenage Dream - Blaine
Livin' on a Prayer/Start Me Up - Girls
Free Your Mind/Stop in the Name of Love - Boys
Quotes:
"I've never actually almost killed a civil servant before." - Sam
"Okay, hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head." - Santana
"...who would rather be dry humping a she-hulk. Oh dear God, why did I say that? Now that's what I'm picturing." - Sue
"Yeah, you can't really put a dollar amount on talent and fear." - Puck
"With those abs, you could be my very own situation." - Tina
"Watch your tone with me, missy, you crap on my leg, and I'll cut it off!" - Beiste
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